My Immortal
by CrimsonObsession
Summary: This song was too good to pass up. Songfic to My Immortal by Evanescence. Kind'a a companion piece to It's Been a While. The shoe's on the other foot...


2/25/03: Happy (EXTREMELY) Belated Valentine's Day everybody! I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever manage to wrangle another fic out of my stubborn muses, but this glorious song was enough to soften 'em up a bit. For those that haven't seen Daredevil yet...what're you waiting for?! GO! GO NOW! It's got music that kicks much ass, Ben Affleck with anime-spiked hair, and a cameo by Kevin Smith. What more could you want?! And besides, where else are you gonna see a guy kill someone with PAPERCLIPS! Well..maybe in a future issue of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.   
  
Ahem. Back to the fic. I guess you could kinda consider this a companion piece to It's Been A While. Kind of a through-the-looking-glass, shoe's on the other foot dealy. Vaguely. Sort of. Okay, so there's really not much connection. Um...read it anyway, please? BRING THE PAIN!  
  
Disclaimer: JHONEN OWNS ALL!!! You will all bow to him, for you are worms not worthy of licking his little pinky toe!!! Wait, what's that on the horizon...NO! The evil Nickelodeon!! We must fight! Fight them for the sake of all things Zim!!! We must-GACK! [killed by a rogue band of paperclips]  
  
[is ressurected for...]Further Disclaimer: My Immortal is by Evanescence. Go see Daredevil, buy the soundtrack, bask in its greatness. Tis the greatest CD available!!!...Until Meteora's release anyway. [runs off singing My Immortal, but sounding like a wounded animal because she is ill]  
  
My Immortal  
  
-I'm so tired of being here  
Supressed by all these childish fears-  
  
"Don't you ever get sick of it?"   
  
Dib refused to look at her. He seemed fascinated by his cereal; he stirred it restlessly, until the milk turned pink and the sugared flakes began to dissolve. "Sick of what."  
  
"That self-pitying crap." He paused for only an instant. Almost immediately he was stirring again, lifting the spoon from the bowl and letting the now-multicolored sludge drip. Gaz slammed her spoon on the table, making the sludge jiggle.  
  
"Would you quite moping! It's been months! It's getting old, Dib."  
  
He tore his attention away from the hypnotic movement of the former cereal, and turned reddened, unblinking eyes on her. The stare-down seemed to last an eternity. When Gaz finally relented, it felt as if the universe had shifted infinetesimally. She growled under her breath. "Why can't you just get over it?"  
  
Dib pushed his seat back from the table, and walked away.  
  
-And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone-  
  
He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was an activity that used to hold so much excitement. Now the dozens of photos, magazine clippings, schematics, they held nothing. The kind of nothing that could crush with the sheer weight of it. It filled his room, a paradoxical emptiness that continued to feed off itself, to grow, until nothing was real, and massive, and devouring.   
  
He closed his eyes, and tried to sleep.  
  
-These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase-  
  
Every night found him at the same haunts. The first, the disturbing little house at the end of the street. A house he hadn't dared to enter in months.   
  
The eerie backlighting was gone. All lighting was gone, in fact, replaced by darkness. He wondered if the house still kept up its duties, still kept itself free of dust and germs in anticipation of its master's return. He imagined tiny robots darting through the empty rooms, vacuuming and spraying and wiping things down...From what he recalled, the house was rather apathetic in its duties while its master was around. Why should it be any different now?  
  
With halting steps he made his way to the front door.  
  
-When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me-  
  
The doorknob felt alien in his grip. He suppressed a smirk at the thought, and twisted it. The door opened easily, onto a room that was exactly as he'd seen it dozens of times before, save for the darkness. It was too close to the past; it brought forth memories. The fights, the taunts, the epic battles and playground mischief...the challenge, the victories, the defeats, the purpose...  
  
He had known it was coming, hated the reminder...and went through the same routine each night. Only this time he was taking it farther, for some masochistic reason he couldn't drag out of his mind. Fishing a small flashlight out of his pocket, he crossed the den, stopped in front of the table set against one wall, and activated the elevator to the labs.  
  
-You used to captivate me  
By your resonating life  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind-  
  
Giggling was the last thing he expected to hear. The vast corridors and tunnels of the labs echoed with laughter. Coupled with the faded red lighting and the absence of organics, it made for a surreal atmosphere. Shadows danced between the massive metal cords crawling along the ceiling. Static buzzed through the halls for a second; Dib leapt into a defensive pose at the sudden sound, only relaxing when the monitors covering the walls turned on and began to scroll the strange Irken writing. He licked his lips, gulped a mouthful of air, and crept along, following the childish giggle.  
  
Three doors down he found GIR. The little robot was flying a rubber piggy around the room, running around with his arm outstretched and making airplane noises. Dib could do nothing but stare, jaw hanging open. Involuntarily he backed up, right into some random machine that apparently jumped into his path. The clang echoed throughout the stadium-sized chamber. Dib held his breath as GIR froze. The little silver antenna perked up before the bot spun around, a painfully large smile across his face.  
  
"Master?"  
  
-Your face, it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me-  
  
Dib's mouth worked but nothing seemed able to come out. The smile fell from the bot's face, replaced by a resigned look that made Dib's heart burn with a sickly fire. It was a blessing when GIR's random mind wandered back into its usual ecstatic state. Another smile graced his metal features, and he bounced across the room and into Dib's arms.   
  
"The Dib-human! HI! Pig wants to play with you!" He shoved the rubber piggy at Dib's face. Dib grimaced, and couldn't meet the bot's unblinking cyan eyes.  
  
"Have you...Were you down here this whole time?"   
  
"I gots a brainfreezy! And I rode a moose, and me an' pig played hopscotch on the moon, and we had TACOS!"  
  
Dib set him down gently. "But you came back here?"   
  
GIR seemed uncertain for a moment, a mere fraction of a second that said as much as an hour of soliloquy. Dib never imagined mechanical optics could convey emotion, but those cyan lights dimmed somehow, his gaze cast to the floor, his foot scraping against the ground, metal on metal. "I'm waiting. Master'll be back soon. I need to be here to keep Master happy, he's not happy too much, I try to cheer him up." His face brightened a bit, and he ran over to a darkened corner. The sounds of him rummaging bounced off the walls. When he returned, he was carrying something, cradling it in his arms as if it were one of his precious tacos. "I got this! Master wants it, I got it for him so he can stop being...so he can be happy..." He opened his hands to reveal a small ball, inlaid with blue and green stones that formed continents and oceans.   
  
An incorporeal knife plunged into Dib's chest. His eyes burned. Without a word he turned, and walked away.  
  
-These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase-  
  
The playground was deserted, which made sense considering the hour. He made for a strange sight, a lone, black-clad figure sitting on a swing that was just too small, feet slowly swinging him back and forth. An hour passed, and he was wrapped in the past as snugly as in the trenchcoat that dangled behind him, digging a line in the dirt below the swing.   
  
A haze slipped in, covering the world in gray. It had been raining that day, and the fog reflected what little light there was off the puddles on the concrete. Dib stared into one, saw the face of someone younger, a face with eyes that weren't tinted a constant red, without the dark black crescents under them or the fine lines at their corners. Behind the reflection the moon shone; his boot landed on it, breaking it into dozens of pieces, a jigsaw of white and black.  
  
"You're here."   
  
The voice was rough, as if from screaming...or crying. The alien appeared out of the gray depths, walking with a slow, measured step. His head was bare, and his antennae twitched in the haze of moisture surrounding them. His eyes were crimson, dark and filled with some nameless emotion.   
  
Dib was suddenly afraid.  
  
"Why're we here?"  
  
Zim glared. "You know why. This has gone on far too long. I plan to finish it. Now."  
  
Dib's throat clenched. It felt like there was a sponge in his mouth, sapping up all the moisture, and he couldn't breathe. Nervously he fingered the object in his pocket, a rare gift from his father, meant for his protection. It felt like ice, something chill, and harsh, and unyielding.   
  
Zim raised a brow, smirked, and crouched. "Let's do this."  
  
Like some demonic cat he pounced, knocking Dib to the ground where they wrestled, a cursing, writhing mass of limbs and claws and nails. There was no time to think, to wonder why the sudden shift in the game they'd played for so long, why it had gone from wargames to all out war. He struggled to hit, to kick, even to bite, and found himself flat on his back, with claws digging into his throat. He panted, gulped for air, scrabbled at the soft leather gloves, bucked and tried anything his frantic mind could come up with to dislodge the alien straddling his stomach.   
  
"It's all your fault!" Zim growled at him, through the cotton slowly filling his ears. "If it hadn't been for you...My honor, my mission, my purpose!" The pressure around his neck eased ever so slighty. Zim squeezed his eyes shut, cried, "Why couldn't you have just given in?! Why did you have to fight?" His grip tightened again, clamping down even more firmly and digging his thumbs into Dib's already raw throat. Dib almost heard him whisper, "I didn't want to..." before he reached up through the darkness bearing down on him, grabbed the first thing his hand came to, and yanked, hard.  
  
Zim screamed in pain and rolled out of Dib's grip, kneeling on the ground and clutching one antenna that was now bent at an odd angle. Before he knew what he was doing, Dib was standing over him, the small black-handled pocketknife gleaming in his hand.   
  
The alien glared at him through tears of pain, then smirked, a cold, emotionless line cut across his lips. "Do it," he rasped. Dib's arm started to move of its own accord, bringing the blade to bare against the smooth skin of Zim's neck. When he caught himself, he fell back and sat in a puddle, panting and staring at the hideous tool clenched in his white-knuckled fist.  
  
The fog enshrouded them, reducing the universe to that place, that moment. "Do it!" Zim's cry was harsh, wrenched from a throat gone hoarse with pain.   
  
Dib pushed himself to his feet, and slowly began to walk away.  
  
-When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have...all of me-  
  
"Coward!!" The shout was Dib's only warning, the shout that sounded right behind him and the hiss of electronics, the squeal of metal shooting towards him. Instinct forced his body to the right, his torso to twist and his arm to raise in defense. It happened between heartbeats. The razor sharp mech leg flashed past his face, leaving a crimson streak across his cheek. Zim's suddenly light form slammed into him, knocking him to the dirt again. He lay on his back, breathing heavily for an eternity, trying to find the strength to look.   
  
A rasping chuckle carried on an icy breeze. "Victory...for Zim. Heh." Dib turned. For the first time he saw clearly Zim's pale skin, the dark green crescents under his eyes, the moisture leaking from eyelids squeezed tight...the sliver of silver embedded in his stomach, the reddish-pink gel dripping on the ground, mixing with the mud.   
  
Dib leapt up, only to trip and fall back. "Zim..." His voice hitched in his throat, and he got to his knees and crawled the miles to the alien's side. Zim had landed on his hands and knees; by the time Dib reached him, he lay on his back, breathing raggedly.   
  
"Zim, why did you..." he lay a muddy hand on Zim's bloodless cheek. The skin was colder than the icy water that surrounded them and soaked their clothing.   
  
"Showed them..." Zim muttered. A coughing fit wracked his suddenly delicate frame, ending in more harsh laughter. "Still one thing I...can do as...an Invader..." He wheezed, and on impulse Dib lifted his shoulders, and scooted forward until Zim's head was cushioned on his lap. A smile crossed the alien's lips, weak but pure, real. "I'm glad it was...you."  
  
Dib hung his head and cried.  
  
-I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along-  
  
Dib stood, surveyed the empty playground. His arm rubbed against his eyes, leaving a trail of moisture streaking his face. He brushed the dirt off his pants, and walked away. Following the new path set out for him, he arrived again at the tiny green house at the end of a cul-de-sac. Through the door, down the elevator, into the labs, he walked until the telltale giggles reached his ears. He found GIR, playing with the rubber piggy, who, judging from the sounds, had apparently ditched the plane and upgraded to a UFO. A wan grin crossed his lips.   
  
"Hey, GIR."  
  
The ball of metall slammed into his chest, knocking his breath out. GIR hugged him, squeezing him as if afraid to let go, but his voice was cheery when he shouted, "Hi Dibby! What'dya bring me?!"  
  
Dib's smile widened of its own accord. "Sorry, I didn't bring anything." Tears started to dance at the corner of the bots eyes, until Dib offered, "Who's up for a brainfreezy? We can get one just down the street."   
  
"YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!" The crazy bot jumped out of his arms and ran around the room, up the walls, and finally paused long enough to grab Dib's hand and drag him towards the exit. Dib did his best to keep up, and only tripped once...or twice. When they stumbled outside, Dib stopped at the door, staring at it for a long moment while GIR kept trying to pull his arm. He suddenly pulled GIR into his arms, lifting him up and making him giggle like a child.   
  
"Hey GIR, why don't you come stay at my house for a while? We've got tv, and we can get plenty of tacos and brainfreezies."  
  
His cyan eyes lit up. "TACOS!" But he hesitated, glanced back at the house with an unreadable expression.   
  
Dib swallowed hard. "He wants you to be happy GIR. It'll make him happy."  
  
"It will?" GIR turned awed eyes on him, and Dib did his best to smile reassuringly.   
  
"Yeah. It will."   
  
"Okie!" GIR hugged his neck, before jumping to the ground and running off in the direction of the nearest freezy dealer. Dib took one last look at the house, bowed his head, and followed.  
  
-When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have...all of me-  
__________ 


End file.
